This is the story of two actors who may have turned the movie into real life…
Take 1.
Hi, I’m the director, but you can call me THE director. Anyway, I recruited two actresses for my newest, soon-to-be-a-masterpiece, movie; but I later realized what an awful mistake I had made.
My chosen actors were Rumi and Liam, who seemed like they’d be very good at acting and were very serious about their roles and parts to play; a little TOO serious. I am the director of many famous rom-com movies so of course; I would be making one again this year.
What should have taken account for was that Rumi and Liam were already married and that they had a strong relationship, but this movie ruined me and them. Oh my, where should I begin?
Well, during the beginning; everything was rolling smoothly. I showed my stars the movie sets, and the cameras and told them what they were supposed to be doing. After I gave all the instructions, the script was ready, and they were ready to perform.
The movie was going to be about a famous couple, who would have weird fights over almost everything and would somehow get back together in the end.
Look, it’s a long script! And I don’t have the time or energy to explain it all right now! So, bye!
Take 2.
Now, where was I? Ah yes! I was summarizing the script. So, when Rumi had to be first in the scene, she demanded that she be the starring actress. And that’s where it all went wrong.
Now, of course, Liam was mad at her and started to reason why HE should be the starring actor. I tried explaining to them that they were BOTH the stars of the movie and that there was no need to argue. But did they listen? NO!! The couple started squabbling like little kids and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I sighed and hit my head with my palm, I knew that this movie was going to be one big train wreck right then and there. “Liam, please! You know I have better acting experience. Let me be the star! You can be… my co-star, I guess.” Rumi explained. “NONSENSE! I have been acting since 2013! You started acting two years after that! Stop trying to talk me out of it. You’re just jealous because of MY superior acting.” Liam taunted.
I had to put up with that arguing for 10 whole minutes and the camera crew just kept staring at them. I thought, “If you’re going to argue, at least use some better insults that DON’T sound like two kindergarteners arguing over who is better. SERIOUSLY!” But obviously, I didn’t SAY that to them because that would just make things WAY worse.
After putting up with their pointless bickering, fighting, and being overly dramatic; I finally got them to calm down.
But THEN another disaster struck! Rumi was told to take a break when Liam threw a tantrum over why she was getting a break when he was the “more deserving” actor to get one. Rumi, being the teasing woman she is; started saying that I liked her more and that’s why she got a break before him.
Excuse me?! After all of this, I might not like any of you; I thought, but again, didn’t say that to them. After another five minutes of that catastrophe, I told them to BOTH take a break and give ME one too!!
I hadn’t even done anything other than calm them down, and I was STILL as exhausted as a mother who just can’t get her children to stop fighting over petty things. WHICH DIDN’T EVEN MATTER, for the record.
And that was only one of the LESS annoying fights of this bumpy ride of a movie. I do need to save some for later! I’m done venting for the day.
Take 3.
At this point, I don’t know who is worse, Rumi or Liam. Also, can I just mention that I’m telling the SUMMARIZED versions of these fights? Yes! These explanations are not even the full events!
Another fight I just remembered that got my head spinning; though it was not the only one that did so, was after the fifth scene of the film, when the camera crew was setting up for a wide shot. What happened was that Rumi and Liam both had their eyes on the fizzy soda machine that was only allowed during breaks.
The problem was, that the machine only had one cup’s worth of soda left and needed to be re-filled. You can probably guess what happened next. They both fought over who was going to get the last cup of the drink. Only this time, they decided to call ME to settle the fight and who should get it first.
I was already busy doing work and didn’t need these cuckoo-birds messing it up over a fight over a MEASLY DRINK!! I told them to just wait for someone to refill it and it doesn’t matter who gets it first. While I was walking away, thinking that I had dealt with the matter; I heard MORE shouting. But they were yelling at me, not each other.
I reluctantly walked back and asked, “What?” and nearly had to cover my ears because they would’ve exploded if I heard any more fighting. It was as if they had COMPLETELY disregarded what I had just said and started complaining about the SAME THING!!
Seriously?! SERIOUSLY!?
Honestly, writing about this is getting me worked up again so I should probably stop ranting and go to bed. It’s 1:00 in the morning!
Take 4.
This last fight I’ll be talking about was the fight that destroyed Rumi and Liam’s partnership with me and their relationship with each other. I started to wonder how the other directors who worked with these psychos DIDN’T have to cancel their movies.
Yes, that’s right! I said CANCEL!! Ok, hear me out. It was the last scene of the movie and we were just about to wrap up when Rumi insisted on there being a final scene in which she explained how difficult it was for her to film the movie due to her husband.
WOW, I mean; how dramatic can a single person ACTUALLY be?! I, of course, didn’t allow that and she was FURIOUS! But not as much as Liam; when he said, “Oh, I made this difficult for you?! Director, the final should be about ME and how difficult it was for me to film this movie since I was the REAL star of the show.”
I just stared in silence while watching another humungous fight lash out between them, I have to say that a little part of me, desperately wanted to get some popcorn and watch the live movie being displayed in front of my very eyes.
But I obviously couldn’t do that.
I was so fed up that I couldn’t keep my silence anymore and yelled, “CAN YOU TWO PLEASE STOP?! I’ve had enough of you guys squabbling and bickering like KIDS!! Fighting over drinks, being the center of attention, and now THIS? How much of this can a person take?!”
It went quiet, really quiet…
Two minutes of silence later, Liam declared something that none of the filming crew could believe! He said that he no longer wanted to be a part of Rumi’s relationship any longer nor a part of the movie. We all gasped.
Rumi didn’t even hesitate and said, “FINE! I never needed you anyway!”
But for me? This was the biggest relief I’d had in a VERY long time, and I was proud to announce, yes proud; that the movie was CANCELED! Rumi and Liam parting ways was the best thing ever! Even the filming crew, the scriptwriters and other people were happy about it!
Hey, now that I think about it; the movie I was TRYING to film turned out to become real! Like, in real life! How ironic is that?! Oh, the laughs the crew and I had afterward were something to remember. So, in a way; this was… how should I say?
AN EXPERIENCE.
Who would’ve thought that such a famous couple could end up a downright calamity!? Well, I’m probably not going to be directing any movies any time soon.
But as the youngsters say, LOL, I should just laugh out LOUD!